Adella

After 9 months of a difficult pregnancy (in my last post I was 5 weeks pregnant juuust before the morning sickness hit) I'm back at the blog. And I thought, what better way to return than with our baby girl's birth story?

Before I dive in, I just wanted to say that I had reservations about whether or not to even share because, well, because this: about a month before my due date I was reading/watching every birth story I could find. My anxiety about labor started to get worse right around that time and I realized the two went hand in hand. I think us preggo mamas have this insatiable need to hear other women's birth stories, maybe we think it's preparing us or something. And maybe for some of us, it is. But I would read a difficult birth story and then become convinced that that same scary thing would happen to me. Not great for anxiety. So with that said, I hope mine and Della's story can be one of comfort. That sometimes (for the most part) things do go as planned, and that either way we have our Heavenly Father's help.

So after I stopped reading scary birth stories (but was still all kinds of traumatized) I decided to try to go into this labor with more peace and faith than I had with Everett. I really didn't have a difficult labor and delivery with Everett, but I was so scared about EVERYTHING throughout it that the experience felt heavy. I wanted this time to be lighter if it could be. I read scriptures about faith and ones about fear in preparation and was reminded of one of my favorites: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." -2 Timothy 1:7. The fear I was feeling wasn't from God. God would give me power and a sound mind. I was so grateful for the contentment that came with this promise.

Della made us wait. I think this is usually how it goes. But since Everett came at 39 weeks pretty unexpectedly since my water broke, I, naively, thought this meant that Adella would surely come early too. She didn't. So when my induction date finally rolled around after I was certain I would go before then, we were all definitely ready. 

I woke up on Wednesday September 14 around 5:40 am, surprised that I had slept at all. I felt calm - very unlike me - and ready to meet our baby. I had said my goodbyes to Everett the night before because I didn't want to wake him up and have him cry when Aaron and I left. But as I tiptoed past his room I felt like my heart was trying to jump out of my body to stay behind with him. It hurt. I think every second time mom knows this feeling - it's so hard to understand how you're going to love another baby along with your first! But you do, you just do. 

I ate a granola bar on the way to the hospital. I knew I wouldn't be able to eat once we got there, so while I wanted to eat a heck of a lot more, I was too nervous. Aaron and I mostly drove in silence. It's such a weird/wonderful feeling to know that you're going to meet your child in a matter of hours. 

We arrived at the hospital at 7 am for my induction. After weeks of being teased with contractions that just didn't last, I whispered to Della as we walked in: "sorry baby girl, you're coming out today!" with maybe just a hint of satisfaction that I finally felt a little in control.

We met our nurse and she got me all hooked up while explaining that my doctor would come within the next couple hours to break my water and all the other fun activities that awaited me to get our baby girl out. She got ready to put my IV in and I took a deep breath as my husband gave me a knowing look. I hate the IV. I hate it more than the epidural. My veins roll and my skin is thick - a combo I've come to realize that nurses do not love. My nurse tries the side of my left wrist - no luck. Then she tries my left hand - another (painful) failure. While she was applying pressure to the second try, another nurse comes in to take blood from my right arm. I catch a glimpse of the blood still coming out of my left hand. Then I start to see the stars. And then everyone's voices start to sound muffled. "Um, I'm pretty sure I'm passing out..." I tell my nurse. So eloquent, I know. Everything kind of jumbled together at that point. The bed lowers and a fan turns on blowing my baby hairs into my eyes. It tickles but I can't move. Pressure on my left arm...taking my blood pressure. Blood pressure is too low. My nurse seems a bit more freaked out now. Consequently, I freak out and feel my heart beat faster. Aaron's squeezing my hand and I wonder if this is what dying feels like - your senses leaving you one at a time (I'm nothing if not dramatic) which makes me think about my sweet Everett at home and how I promised I'd see him soon. Heart beats faster still and fear grips me. Warm towels are placed around my arms to hopefully make it easier to get my IV in because apparently I need fluids NOW. Was this an indication on how the rest of the day would be? 

I tried harder to grip reality again and took deep breaths. God hath not given me the spirit of fear. I have power. I have a sound mind. Fear is making me feel worse. Just fear. I start to feel calm again. My nurse has another needle in hand and says: "let's all pray this works this time." I take her suggestion literally. It does and the IV is finally in. Hallelujah! Another nurse comes in and gives me orange juice. It tastes really good. I remember my nurse saying she no longer has need for her morning coffee. 

After that, it really was smooth sailing. My mom got to the hospital around 8 am, and Aaron left for his 8:30 class. The nurses thought he was crazy, but I made him go, haha. I tell my mom about the IV and my blood pressure and the nurse comes in and starts my pitocin. Aaron gets back from his class and our doctor comes in to break my water. He tells us we'll have a baby by lunch time. We were genuinely shocked to hear this. Everything felt more real from then on. 

I asked for and got my epidural around 10 am. My anesthesiologist had the best sense of humor and I loved him because he was giving me all the drugs, haha. With Everett I was pushing the "give me more juice" button every 15 minutes (as often as you can), but with Della I didn't have to push it once, so I'm thinking he did a better job. He joked about where we were going to lunch after baby was here and we all had a good laugh. But then he really did get us lunch! He won my heart with pain meds and food!

After that I think I was dilated to a 6 but my nurse said Della's head wasn't low enough, so she got out a peanut (I think that's what they're called?) ball to open up my hips. Luckily this did the trick and soon after Della was in position. My nurse told me to tell her when my contractions started to feel a little stronger. I assumed this would take awhile, but just a few contractions later I started to feel some definite pressure and she said she'd call our doctor. 

After our doctor arrived and got suited up we all stood (well, except for me) around and waited for the next contraction. I'm not going to lie, it was a tad awkward, and I was honestly worried that another contraction wouldn't come. I looked at Aaron and we chuckled a little, so much for all those dramatic movies depicting childbirth. Instead everyone was uncomfortably clearing their throats and staring at my who-ha waiting for something to happen. 

Luckily another contraction finally came and a really long push later our family became a family of 4 at 12:25 pm on September 14th. I don't think the nurses really believed my mom when she told them we're "quick pushers" in our family because they seemed pretty astonished that Della came in one contraction. I know this is grounds for other women who pushed forever to hate me. And that's fine, you're definitely entitled. But honestly, I felt like it was a personal gift from my Father in Heaven to me. I had a very difficult pregnancy physically and emotionally (more on that in a later post), and so it felt like He was giving me an easy delivery to specifically bless me after that trial. 

I wish I could more adequately describe how all my fears about loving two children quickly disappeared the moment they laid her on my chest, but I can't. Because I don't even remember what it felt like to be scared about that now. The feeling simply vanished. My heart grew and its expansion was so seamless that I couldn't find an explanation if I tried. This feeling has helped me understand what our Heavenly Father must feel for each of us. Love can't be cut in half or divided, it just multiplies. It was something I worried and worried about, but couldn't understand until it happened to me. 

And I'm so grateful it did!

We love our sweet Della and are so grateful for her safe arrival into this world! 

 Our free meal: Taco Lucha!